I keep thinking each time I put up one of these posts, how this achievement might not have been possible without the support of the DearMamaSal network. Their amazing support of my efforts at the start kept me motivated and on track. Day by day I worked towards the next 10-day milestone (that was when I announced how many days had gone by). My achievement is their achievement and they need to remember that it is not just my smoke-free days that are due to their support. Because of MY achievement, others have taking the huge step of becoming smoke-free. Carrie is now in the 72nd. day and Mare is celebrating a week of being free.
It is important for everyone to take credit for their part. Yes, those of us who quit have done amazing things, no doubt but we needed the support to help us through the dark days – believe me I remember mine. I remember the times “the devil” tempted me. “I need a cigarette” came into to my mind so many times when I was stressed, tired, bored or overwhelmed. When I was’t sure of the next step in my life. For 50 years it had been my mantra. It is difficult to change a conditioned response. I changed it to “I really need to sit down and rest/think/take a break/whatever”.
It has worked. However, every day I choose to stay smoke-free. Don’t think for a moment that it is “over”. It isn’t. I now really understand the AA people saying they are a recovering alcolholic for the rest of their lives. I am a person learning to be smoke-free day after day. That “devil” will stay with me. Waiting for a weak moment. Waiting for me to give up on myself. I hope the wait is painful and boring… for the “devil”.
Now I am working on the 30lbs I put on because I couldn’t cope without the food when I gave up on the smokes. It has been a year and I am still only a few lbs down. I haven’t given up on myself. I know myself. I am not a quitter!! I didn’t give up on being smoke-free. I am not going to give up on losing the weight. Not to please someone else but because I want to do it. I choose to do it. For me. I am worth it.
For all of you fighting your “devil(s)” know it is a lesson in patience, in reality thinking and in discipline. None of us like to hear those words. They mean we have to control ourselves. We want to shout, “give me a pill” or “give me the easy way”. We don’t want to have to do what we have denied ourselves for all these years!
My sincere, heartfelt thanks for all of you who supported me through the past 500 days. I will look forward to telling you more about my struggle to cope with both “devils” at the same time.
YouTube Update – Week 91
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Non-Smoking Days 500 with a saving of $5,340.41